Ed: (Singing) I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, cause we're all dudes!
(he takes a bite of a good burger and sings with it in his mouth)
Ed: (spits out the food) WHAT?!
Costumer: I'd like some food!
Ed: Me Too (he takes another bite of his good burger)
Customer: I Can't believe you just took another bite! Now listen, I would like
Ed: (Takes another bite of his good burger) Welcome to good burger, home of the good burger,
can I take.....(spits his food out all over the customers face)
Customer: EWWW! You just got burger bits all over my face!
Customer: Yes you did! You got some in my mouth!
Ed: Whoa! That'll be 8 bucks!
Customer: I'm not paying you for your regergetated burger bits!
Ed: Then I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
Miss Hushbaum: (blows her whistle) SILCENCE! THIS IS A LIBRARY
(The group Naughty by Nature comes in)
Miss Hushbaum: Just who do you people think you are barging in like this?!
NBN: We're "Naughty By Nature"!
Miss Hushbaum: OH WELL THATS OBVIOUS!
NBN: No No No, its the name of our group, we just came here cause we want to sing a......
(she interups by blowing her hush horn)
Miss Hushbaum: QUIET!!! THIS IS A LIBRARY!
Miss Hushbaum: QUIET! THIS ISN'T A BLAB-A-TORIUM THIS IS
Kid: I didn't say anything!
Miss Hushbaum: You turned your page and made noise, now SHUT UP! THIS IS A LIBRARY.
Kid: I'm Leaving!
Miss Hushbaum: (She blows her hush horn) QUIET!!! THIS IS A LIBRARY!
And Another One-
Miss Hushbaum: It's Time to Feed the Parrott!
Parrott: (mocking her) It's Time to Feed the Parrott!
Miss Hushbaum: QUIET!
Parrott: (mocking her) QUIET!
Miss Hushbaum: THIS IS A LIBRARY!!!
Parrott: (mocking her) THIS IS A LIBRARY!!!
Miss Hushbaum: Noisy Bird! Can't you read the signs???
AND ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!
Miss Hushbaum: (her phone rings and she picks it up) Library.
OH CAROYLM DARLING HI HOW ARE YOU???......No of course you are not disturbing me, this is just a dumb old library, everybody
talkes here!......Yes..Carolyn, can you hold on one minute?.....QUIET!!! THIS IS A LIBRARY!
Student: Mr. Coach Kreeton, Miss Fingerley was going to teach us about World War II today.
Coach Kreeton: Hmmmmm. Ask me if I care, go ahead ask me! ASK ME!!
Student: Do you care?
Coach Kreeton: Hmm....Let Me See......(Shouts on the top of his lungs) NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ashley: I'm ashley and today I am here to answer your letters, our first letter comes from
Lisa Lillian of Insino CA, Lisa write, Dear Ashley,...THATS ME! Dear Ashley,
I just bough a new sweater it is green, sincerely, Lisa Lillian (she puts the letter on her bed)
Hmmm....Well Lisa, your letter leads me to this question.........WHO STINKIN' CARES!!!
THIS IS CALLED ASK ASHLEY, NOT BORE ASHLEY!!!
Lemonade Girl: Here take these nuts, there free!
Customer: Ok (she eats a lot of them and she leaves, 2
seconds later she comes back)
Customer: HOT HOT HOT HOT THESE ARE HOT
Lemonade Girl: Oh yeah I forgot, they were accidently dropped in Jhallepino
Pepper Juice. You can buy some Lemonade to stop the spicyness.
Customer: OK OK JUST HURY UP AND GIVE IT TO ME!!!!
Lemonade Girl: Ok, Your Total is $ 127.59
Announcer: It's time for Channel 6 1/2, Cable Access Show What-Everrrr, with Gina & Jessica.
Gina: Like Hello!
Jessica: Like Hi!
Gina: I'm Gina
Jessica: And I'm Jessica!!!!
Gina: To start off our show we're going to introduce a new special feature...
Gina & Jessica: LOSER OF THE WEEK!!!!
Gina: Alright lets bring in our first Loser of the Week
Jessica: Jeffrey Bumman. Like tell 'em what he did.
Gina: I'm Gonna. Well me & Jessica were hanging at the Galleria.
Jessica: To buy hair scrunchies!
Gina: True Story!!!! and then we got hungry and went to the food court
Jessica: I had the skinless chicken breast with the chickickaroo.
Gina: Like how good is their skinless chicken breast.
Jessica: I know
Gina: I know
Jessica: I could die!
Gina: Then Geoffrey Bumman walks in with who
Gina & Jessica: HIS MOTHER!
Gina: For walking in with...
Gina & Jessica: HIS MOTHER!!
Gina: We are voting him
Jessica: Geoffrey Bumman
Gina & Jessica: Loser of the Week! (They put a big L on his chest)
Ernie: But Mom!!!
Ernies Mom: Ernie look its already 11:30 at night! Face it, he's not coming!
Ernies Dad: Whats with all the noise?
Ernies Mom: Ernie invited a friend from school to come sleepover and the boy didn't show up.
Ernies Dad: Well, why not give him a call?
Ernie: I Can't! He doesn't believe in telephones!
Ernies Mom: WHAT?!
Ernie: You see, he's a foreign exchange student. VERY FOREGN!
He's not like all of the others, in fact...
Ishboo: I am Ishboo!!!
This is all I have for now, but more are on the way!
Announcer: And now! WACK Radio Presents: Hey Dr.K, so pick up your phone and say "hey" to Dr.K!
Dr.K: Look out now, cause I'm on the air an you better care. The name of the show, as if you don't know, is "Hey",
Ticky-Ticky, Dr.K! I'm your host, the sometimes lovable, always correct Dr.K. Now, ya all know the rules.Any of you parents
havin' problems with your kids out there, make my phone ring. Say "Hey" to, Ticky-Ticky, Dr.K!
Woman: Hi, Dr.K! Oh, I mean, hey! Well my problem is with my son Melvin. He's always being picked at school by the other
Dr.K: Let me get this straight. Ya named the boy Melvin, then wonder why he's gettin'hassled at school. Here's a clue!
You named the boy Melvin! What's wrong with you?
Woman: My voice annoys people.
Dr.K: Look, if I was at school and I met some boy named Melvin, I'd have to smack him myself! Dr.K's advise- Change the
Woman: To what?
Dr.K: Look, you could name him Cheddar-Cheese, if you want! Anything be better than Melvin! Problem solved!